Hello again. It’s been a while.
If you’ve been following me for a bit, you may have noticed that I stepped away from my public platform this past winter. There were several reasons for this:
- My mental health. I was beyond burnt out and I didn’t have it in me to write one more word. In hindsight, I think I was also struggling with depression, and wasn’t fully aware of it. I lost my dog, Meadow, in the fall of 2024, and it’s something I never really got over. I think my grief and sadness lingered and turned into something heavier over time.
- My physical health. There’s a lot going on behind the scenes. None of which needs to be made public, but I’ll say this: I’m okay. There’s nothing life-threatening happening. But I have been struggling. There have been a lot of sleepless nights and a lot of frustrated tears. And I needed time to care for myself and figure out next steps.
- I lost my sense of direction. With the rise of antisemitism in progressive/social justice circles*, and the lack of care from people I fully expected to care about something so serious, it became clear to me that I no longer belong in the world I considered my home. That’s been a devastating blow, and I needed time to mourn that. I needed time to decide if I wanted to continue writing. I will, but now I’m writing from a new foundation. One where I’m less interested in belonging to a specific camp, and more interested in exploring what healthy spaces look like for anyone, like me, who has been failed by theirs.
But one thing has always been true since I’ve been publicly writing: Those who need my words tend to find me, and those who no longer resonate with my message find their way to the next writer who does.
Content creators can often fall into the trap of believing that we must be all things to all people at all times or our platforms become at risk of disappearing into oblivion. I’ve been there a few times myself. But that’s not how any of this works. I saw it constantly when I wrote for Ezer Rising. Those coming out of fundamentalist circles found language for their experiences in our work, but then they outgrew us as their paths took them elsewhere. Or, as the team’s values shifted directions, many of our followers couldn’t follow us. It was time for them to part ways with us.
None of that was a bad thing. It was people evolving into who they were always meant to be. This is deconstruction in a nutshell. We are not meant to be static creatures. We are constantly growing and changing; changing our minds and changing directions. None of us end up where we started.
If you can’t follow me where I’m going, that’s okay. I wish you well and I hope you can wish the same for me.
Thanks for reading Shari A Smith: Running On Faith And Coffee! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.
Story Announcement!
Earlier this summer, I teased a new project across my social channels, a serialized story that would be published on my platform and freely accessible. I had planned to begin publishing this month but life had other plans, and after talking with my trusted social media strategist/graphics & reels creator, Sierra Wilston, I decided it would be better to postpone until the new year. This turned out to be a bigger project than I had anticipated, and I want to make sure it’s the best it can possibly be by the time it rolls out. Here’s what I can tell you:
It’s a story that follows a teenaged girl who just found out from her church leaders that she’s about to marry someone she didn’t choose. It is called The Door Nova Chose. It will be tentatively released in early 2027, and will feature a carefully curated playlist of music I think will help pull the reader into the world I’m creating.
Stay tuned for that!
New Website
In the spirit of new paths and new content, I also spent some time this summer working on my website, and you are seeing the brand new version now!
The biggest change will be that my content will no longer be housed solely on Substack. Pieces will go live on Substack first and a few days later you will be able to find them on my website too. This makes my work more accessible and doesn’t limit it to just those who have signed up for a Substack account.
Eventually there will be Substack-only content for paid subscribers, but there are no immediate plans to turn on that paywall.
Where My Focus Will Be
This year I will continue to talk about what constitutes healthy faith as a general idea. So many of us who deconstructed from toxic evangelicalism didn’t stay there – we became Catholics, Buddhists, Muslims, Agnostics, Wiccans, Jews, and more. But the core need still connects all of us: we need to be able to identify healthy spiritual spaces because without health, there is no safety.
This space is for all who wander, not just the exvangelicals. If you’re on a journey to be your healthiest spiritual self, you are welcome here.
There will be more creativity in the coming year; I will write in essays (as I’ve been doing all along), and I will also begin to include poetry and fiction.
I’m also going to start including more music in my content. There will be theme songs and playlists to go along with my content. You will also be able to find each month’s theme music on my website. I’ll be storing playlists here. For now, music will be coming from Spotify until I figure out how to also do this on Apple Music.
Join Me On The Path
I hope you all can join me in my journey over the next year. I’m extremely excited about where this road might lead and all of this feels very life-giving to me. I hope it resonates with you and helps you to feel seen wherever you might find yourself on your own spiritual path.
This month’s theme songs: Landslide by The Chicks
*This is not me inviting a discourse on the Israel/Gaza war or anything happening in the Middle East. This is me vulnerably sharing about what’s been happening in my life. Any comments trying to hijack this post will be deleted.