They Told Me To Find A Love

This poem was written about the love of my life. I spent a lifetime inside a system that told me to find a strong Christian man to lead me and guide me to spiritual maturity. I was set up for a life of being held back (at best) or a life of abuse (at worst).

And then I found out that the Bible doesn’t actually demand that I find a Christian man in order to be “equally yoked.”

I found out that I could have a passionate and loving relationship where we were both allowed to shine and to lead.

We don’t have to share a faith. All we need is to share the same values and a mutual love and respect for one another.

I didn’t end up with Christian. But I did end up with the most amazing man I could ask for.

And there is zero doubt in my mind that this love I’ve found is a gift from God.


They told me to find a love
A predefined kind of love
A love that would keep me inside the lines

They told me that love was black and white
Love could lead me into hell
So I must choose what they called holy

They told me to look for a love
That would keep me in the fold

They told me that love was hard
Love was meant to challenge me
To change me
Love was meant to mold me
Into the image of Christ
By chipping away my rough edges
Love is meant to be a struggle
For my own good

They almost had me convinced

And then you came along

You were everything they told me to avoid

They told me that your love was dangerous

They told me that your love would damn my soul

They told me your love was wrong

It turns out that they don’t know
What love is at all

Because your love has healing powers
To restore the years lost to me
Through their toxicity

Your love set me free
From the land of black and white
To a world with more colour
Than I ever knew existed

Your love comes easily
Never changing who I am
But always bringing out the best in me

Your love was everything I ever needed
And never knew I could have

Your love is my home

Your love is my safe place

And I’m so thankful that I found you.

-Shari A Smith (July 20, 2021)

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